A ‘Love Letter’ from a Valentine’s Day Secret Admirer 

Dear Cupid,

Forgive me for butting into your business, especially with this being a hectic time of year for you and all. But I had to write to you about something that has been bothering me since I became a mom: In case you haven’t noticed, your holiday ─ a celebratory day for lovers ─ has been hijacked. Hijacked by little people who, unlike you, don’t sport wings and a bow and arrow! Three of them reside in my home and they’re not remotely ready for the idea of romance (okay, so maybe the fourteen-year-old thinks she is). Yet, they’ve stolen what should be a celebration for couples in love.

For instance, I’ve noticed how, on February 14^th, my husband hurries to leave love notes on the breakfast table for our daughters and, in his haste, forgets to even give me a goodbye kiss! The grandparents send along cards and candy hearts for the kids while the love of my life gives me…well, nothing. It seems that your powers of attraction have been redirected to cause parents to overexert themselves to be sure, on this day of days, that their children know they are cherished. Parents are moved to gush over their offspring, whom they already cuddle and coddle. They shower them with hugs, gifts, and extra attention, sealed with pretty red and pink bows. At the end of it all, they give their conspirator in the scheme (aka spouse) an exhausted peck on the cheek and a quick, “love ya, hon.” I’m not sure that’s what you’re aiming for, Cupid, if you’ll pardon the pun.

  I’ve, too, been a victim in this hijacking. Reduced to tucking frilly cards into lunch boxes, writing chalk messages on our patio window, and decorating heart-shaped cookies. I’ve even been swayed into spending hours coaching my children to squeeze their names onto cheap character-themed greetings to exchange with classmates. I guess I should be grateful that they haven’t convinced me to do it all for them…in the name of love, of course.

By the way, I’m pretty sure the kids don’t mean any of the sappy sentiments on those cards, except maybe for the ones they give to their best friends. But this isn’t a “friendship” holiday, is it? Or did I miss that chapter in the history of St. Valentine? For once, dear Cupid, I’d like to wake to flowers on my dresser and champagne in the fridge. I’d be thrilled to break out a dress and heels for dinner at a restaurant that doesn’t serve chicken fingers or macaroni and cheese. I could use a special day where the cards and wishes flowed only between me and my sweetheart.

Actually Cupid, what I really wish is that you had given me a warning about the influence over endearment held by babies and children; a heads-up for what was to come. I would have squeezed in more romantic fondues or steak-and-seafood dinners. I would have taken more chilly moonlit strolls and splurged on that carriage ride. I would have fussed more over gifts of tenderness in that brief span of years. Then again, in those days I probably wouldn’t have believed your warnings, my cherubic friend. After all, I was too smitten to imagine that bringing little people into our lives could do anything but multiply our devotion to each other; which in a way, it has. I have so much more to appreciate about my husband now. Like the way he can create a fishtail braid in our young girl’s slippery tresses. Or how he gently glues the heads back onto tiny plastic princess dolls to restore them for his own princesses! You should see how he bristles with a show of manly protection over the mention of a boy by our tween-aged daughter. See, it somehow always comes back to those kids!

Too often romance gets squeezed out by the demands of parenthood but I wish I could, for one Valentine’s Day again, be the center of someone’s world. Cupid, it’s time you reclaimed this holiday for all romantic moms and dads ─ lovers despite being parents! So, will you take back Valentine’s Day from the youngsters? If not, I guess I’d settle for a box of chocolates and some extra snuggles from my girls, doting drawings, and extra “I love you’s.” In fact, I don’t think I could keep myself from loving on my children for a whole day anyway and, of course, their dad, too.