Starting a new school year can be like starting a new job, or moving from one city to another. New people, new expectations, different surroundings… It’s true, you may know some of your fellow students, but you might end up with the annoying one sitting at the desk next to you.

So, it’s understandable that kids are uneasy about starting a new school year. But sometimes the jitters turn into the shakes and, before you know it, your child has worked himself into a frenzy about the coming year. Here are some tips to help allay the fears and prepare your little student to take on the first day jitters.

Start early

Give kids time to switch gears.  Dr. Jeff Brown, a Harvard psychologist and author of The Winners Brain, recommends reestablishing a routine about two weeks ahead of time. “We have a tendency in the summer to stay up later and snack more frequently,” he says. Plan for earlier bedtimes and wake them up earlier in the morning. It’s time to bring back the family sit-down meal and make sure your kids are getting plenty of healthy food, proteins, fruits, vegetables, and whole grains for brain optimization. When you establish a schedule, small issues are easier to spot and address.

Walk the walk

Practice walking to school or the bus stop. Point out interesting sites along the way so that it’s not so unfamiliar the first few weeks. Go play at the school playground. Take advantage of any back-to-school activities, such as an orientation or meet the teacher event.

Once you know who is in your child’s class, set a few play dates or meet at a park, so your child will recognize familiar, friendly faces when school opens. Some schools are willing to help parents organize summer play dates, particularly in kindergarten, so kids can get to know some classmates before the first day.

Nina McCabe, a well-seasoned principal at an award-winning elementary school suggests familiarizing students with the school’s routine. “Talk about what the first day of school will be like; share appropriate books that touch on the subject – the more a child knows about what he should expect in a new situation, the less anxiety he will feel.”

Listen carefully

Occasionally, it’s more serious than just a mild case of nerves. If your child is having trouble sleeping or is experiencing panic attacks, crying jags, or stomach aches, find a quiet moment and really listen to what your child is saying. “We think like adults, but sometimes we need to think like a child,” says Dr. John Mayer, a child and family psychologist. “Try to look at the jitters and nerves through their eyes. Is the anxiety about the school work, or is it about recess?” Before offering reassurance, make sure that you understand the problem. We may assume that they’re worried about math, when really they’re scared about where to sit at lunch. Oftentimes, kids fixate on a small aspect of school that we might easily overlook.

Dr. Brown agrees. “Find out if there is some unresolved issue from last year and make sure there is some closure on a past problem. Are they dreading a certain subject? Was there a previous experience that made them uncomfortable, such as a peer or a teacher? Do they know who is in their class? Are there any personality conflicts?” McCabe also recommends that, during the first week of school, parents spend some extra time with their children, especially after school. Family dinnertime can be a great time to share thoughts concerning the new school year.

Play the part yourself

Above all, Mayer urges parents to act calmly and appear confident, even if that’s not how they are feeling themselves. “Parents need to play the role of staying calm, being organized, and not getting hysterical at the last minute about the start of school,” he says. “Parental attitude is absolutely vital and huge in terms of calming a kid’s jitters. I believe that the parents’ attitude and approach are critical.”

So, before you shrill a hundred times in a false, bravado tone: “Are you excited about school?” – play it cool instead. Trying to muster fake enthusiasm often illuminates your own fears and insecurities. As parents, we often bring our own baggage to our children’s situations; remembering our own troubles making friends, keeping up with class work, or lunchtime seating arrangements.  It’s much better to appear calm and confident in your kids’ abilities and reassure them that they will be fine.

McCabe couldn’t agree more. “Remember, the nerves will almost always dissipate once a child acclimates to the new school year…and typically after the first day! Love, reassurance, modeling a positive attitude, and believing that ‘this too shall pass,’ works well for all involved.”

A bouquet of sharpened pencils

Finally, don’t discount the tried and true routine: back to school shopping. It doesn’t have to be extravagant, but there is something anticipatory about having a fun, new backpack packed with freshly sharpened pencils and smooth notebooks. Buy a new outfit and don’t let them wear it before school begins, so it doesn’t lose its appeal and specialness. “We know it’s not all about appearance,” says Brown. “But for some kids, it can be important.”