Modern motherhood can be difficult to navigate with the conflicting messages that women receive. Celebrities make pregnancy in the 40s look like a breeze. So, what’s there to worry about? Well, what some women don’t know is that pregnancy in one’s 40s isn’t as easy as one might think. I experienced my own personal struggle with infertility and, fortunately, was able to have a family through adoption and egg donation. My family means the world to me, but I faced years of fertility treatments and a rollercoaster ride of international adoption to get to this point.

Following my experiences, I wanted to help others understand that options are available, and not to give up on achieving the family of their dreams. Through Donor Egg Bank USA, a national frozen donor egg bank of which I am the CEO, I have worked with hundreds of women who have overcome infertility and now have a baby. My goal is to pass along information that I wish someone had given me when I was trying to conceive. More specifically, here are 10 myths about pregnancy in your 40s:

1. Myth: Pregnancy is easy in your 40s and happens all the time.

Once you hit 40, there is only a 5% chance that you will get pregnant in any given month (compared to 20% at age 30). Pregnancy is possible, but women need to know the most valuable and irreversible factor impacting success is time. This is largely due to a steady decline in egg quality which begins when a woman is in her early 30s and then accelerates in her late 30s.

2. Myth: Fertility issues are always with the woman.

For men and women in their 20s, there is an equal chance of problems with fertility in either partner. For couples with a female partner in her late 30s or 40s, the chance of infertility due to egg quality rises dramatically.

3. Myth: Celeb moms make it look easy. They are having kids at age 46!

There is an endless stream of celebrity mothers who are having kids in their 40s. Halle Berry had her baby at 46, Kelly Preston at 47, and Geena Davis had twins at 48. While it is statistically unlikely that some older celebrities are having children without any assistance, it is important (though hard) not to compare your experience to others. Some celebrities share their experiences with infertility, but most do not.

4. Myth: You can only have a baby using your own eggs.

According to the medical journal Fertility and Sterility, 40-year-old women treated for infertility have a 25% chance of achieving pregnancy using their own eggs. By age 43 that number drops to 10%, and by age 44 it drops to 1.6%. For those who are unable to use their own eggs, the good news is that women can achieve pregnancy success using donor eggs regardless of their age! Women at 40 using donor egg give birth at a rate of roughly 45%, a success rate higher than that of younger women using their own eggs. The high success rate for recipients using egg donation does not decline with age.

5. Myth: The age of a man doesn’t matter when trying to conceive.

Age matters for both men and women. A study in Nature found a direct link between paternal age and an increased risk of autism and schizophrenia which, some experts say, may be one of the factors in the rise of autism diagnoses in recent years. The increase in medical challenges with advancing male age is very small; the autism increase may be from 1-in-150 in the general population to 1-in-100 for men over 50. As women age though, the chances of chromosomal abnormalities, such as Down syndrome, increase. These abnormalities typically occur because of a decrease in the quality of the egg due to aging. A 25-year-old woman has a 1/1000 chance of having a baby with Down syndrome, whereas the chance is 1/30 in a 44-year-old using her own eggs.

6. Myth: If you’re healthy, fit, and look great, having a baby won’t be a problem.

You do yoga, run half marathons, eat organic, and fit into a size 6… But, do your ovaries do yoga? The truth is that eating nutritiously and maintaining a healthy weight can boost fertility and help balance ovulatory disorders, but it does not affect your ovarian supply or the health of your eggs.

7. Myth: If I’m starting menopause, I can’t have a baby.

There is about a 10-year phase of perimenopause that precedes the complete cessation of menstrual function known as menopause. The quality of a woman’s eggs during this time is significantly reduced and the chances of conceiving decline sharply. The chance of a miscarriage, for those who do conceive, is significantly increased. For women beginning perimenopause, a pregnancy may still be possible, but it will depend on where their bodies are in the process. To increase the chances of success and to save time, both parties should undergo basic fertility testing.

8. Myth: Older mothers are less likely to have twins.

Surprisingly, older mothers have a higher likelihood of conceiving twins. As a woman ages, her follicle stimulating hormone (FSH) increases. FSH develops eggs inside the ovaries prior to being released into the fallopian tubes. High FSH levels can cause two or more eggs to be released, which can result in twins or multiples. The likelihood of spontaneously conceived twins rises from 1/80 in a 25-year-old to 1/40 in a 42-year-old. Higher FSH levels are also associated with declining fertility, which means follicles may work overtime and release more eggs to compensate for lowering fertility. Twin rates have also increased due to general fertility and IVF treatment and patients choosing to transfer multiple embryos; though the latest data shows that twin rates are declining as many women choose to transfer only one embryo.

9. Myth: Your family has a fertile history, so you shouldn’t have any trouble.

There is a genetic component to ovarian function and a correlation between your mother’s and grandmother’s ability to conceive at an older age. However, this is a very limited factor and cannot provide significant reassurance. Conversely, if there is a history of early menopause in your family, this will increase the likelihood of a problem. Your fertility potential and egg supply is an individual matter. If your grandmother had her last baby at 43, and your mother was infertile at 41, this does not make your chances of conception any higher or lower.

10. Myth: Having a baby with a donor egg doesn’t make you the biological mom.

The egg donor is a genetic donor who provides the egg cell and half of the DNA in the creation of the baby, but the woman who carries the pregnancy provides the biological environment to allow the embryo and baby to thrive. The woman who intends to parent is the true mother of the child. Motherhood is a conscious choice, regardless of how a baby is conceived or born.