Who can forget the bittersweet photograph of the little girl clutching her soldier daddy’s hand while he stood in formation before deploying to Iraq for a year-long tour? The image went viral and stirred emotions around the world, reminding us of the sacrifices that military families make for their country. Since the War on Terror began, many Central Florida families of active duty and reserve personnel have quietly faced the reality of long-term separations and the anxiety associated with having a loved one serving in hostile territory on the other side of the world. It takes a special family to weather the stress and apply what can only be called Herculean coping skills toget through a nerve-racking separation.

On this Veterans Day, as we civilians go about our daily activities, complaining that the lawn needs mowing, or the dripping sink needs a washer, let’s remember the military spouses, parents, and children of the deployed in our community who are serving in harm’sway. Orlando Family was privileged to speak with many Central Florida families who generously shared their feelings and the techniques they use to help them survive the farewells and enjoy the homecomings. The Starks and the Hatchers are two local military families from this patriotic group who exude the strength, courage, and optimism needed to keep the home fires burning brightly when their loved ones served overseas.

Marine Corps helicopter pilot Captain Kris Stark served overseas on three occasions over a thirty-month period, twice in Africa and once in Iraq. Each deployment lasted for seven months. “During this time we had three babies, bought and sold houses, and did all the things young couples do to raise a family,” says Kristen, his wife of eight years. “Kris has been home since 2007 and is currently serving in Orlando, working in the simulation field to help train Marine Corps helicopter pilots.”

Every deployment is fraught with challenges. “The week or two before Kris leaves is filled with stress, anticipation, and thinking about how you are going to handle the day-to-day activities. He’s doing scary things like making sure his will is up to date and that the insurance policies are current,” she says matter-of-factly. “We’ve also learned how to make his transition back into our lives a bit easier when he returns. After all, I’ve learned to be very independent, and the children have become totally dependent on Mommy.” To help their infants and toddlers feel comfortable with the sudden appearance of Daddy who may seem like a stranger, Kris would read stories on tape before he deployed and Kristen would later play the tapes in the car so they recognized his voice. The house was filled with photos of Daddy, and the babies enjoyed looking at them and talking about him. A true pilot’s wife, Kristen made what she calls a “Baby Ops” manual to chronicle family milestones. “That way, Kris felt connected and knew their daily routines and developmental accomplishments, so that when he returned he was up to speed on everything,” she says. “Even though the civilian community is generally supportive, they don’t have a real grasp of the commitment involved for a military family. You try to put a positive spin on everything when your spouse is deployed, but there will be days when you are pushed to the brink. That’s when you need to tap your resources, whether it’s finding a helpful website or leaning on military support services, friends, or family.”

Mike and Holly Hatcher’s 25 year old son, Troy, is one of nearly 100,000 U.S. troops currently deployed in Afghanistan. His year-long combat mission will be up in January 2011. “When Troy enlisted, we learned a lot about the armed forces from talking to other military families and going on line, particularly when it came to dealing with separations and maintaining long-distance communication while he was away,” says Troy’s mom, Holly. Every ten days, the family puts together a care package for Troy and his Army buddies. Holly writes an email every night, rather like a family diary. “Even if I don’t hear back from him right away, it is a great way for me to keep him in the family fold. Even his brother is involved in communications. Last year, Duke’s 6th grade classroom adopted Troy as a pen pal. They wrote funny, poignant letters, sent packages, and posted a map of Afghanistan to see where Troy was stationed.” Troy’s sister, Abby, uses Facebook to keep in touch with him and share photos of the family. After Troy deployed, the neighbors even tied a big yellow ribbon around the tree in the Hatcher’s yard. Holly doesn’t like to think of the dangerous side of Troy’s job, so there’s an unwritten rule to keep things light when they talk. Mike, his stepdad, fills Troy’s need to have a sounding board when he calls home. “We all have our way of coping with the reality of deployment,” says Holly.

If you want to brighten the day of soldiers who are defending their country,you can log on to: http://www.anysoldier.com for tips and effective ways to send a greeting or package to a soldier or sailor far from home.