Cell phones present unique challenges for parents. In a wired world, these electronic devices seem essential for keeping kids safe and connected. But, they also make it much harder for parents to monitor where their kids are and who they’re talking to, not to mention what apps (applications) and media they may be accessing.

Without supervision, even the best behaved kids can get into mischief. At the very least, cell phones allow kids to make and remake plans so fast parents can’t keep up! More seriously, they allow kids to elude bedtime, drive while distracted, and sidestep family rules about entertainment involving pornography and violence. At their worst, cell phones make it disturbingly easy to distribute inappropriate images and video clips, cheat on tests, trash friends, and locate parties where drugs and alcohol are available.

To address these problems, all major phone companies offer parental control options – sometimes for a small additional fee. To find out what your cell phone company offers, go to their website and type in “parental controls”. Of course, all children may not need every control option, but parents should still do their homework as some options may not be compatible with all phones models.

First, decide whether your child can keep track of his/her belongings, including a cell phone.  No one needs the headaches created by a frequently misplaced, lost, or stolen cell phone. It’s up to the parent to determine when a child can handle this responsibility.

In most households, a cell phone starts to feel like a necessity around middle school when your children begin to get involved with independent activities and need transportation. Without a phone of their own, they will likely run up minutes on their friends’ phones, or they might get stranded without a ride at the mall or after a sporting event. Before putting a phone in the hands of your pre-teen, be sure he or she understands the rules about acceptable use.  If a child uses a phone to harass someone, cheat on school work, distribute sexual photographs, or break other household rules, phone privileges are revoked. No discussion.

A cell phone is not a gift you simply give to your child without setting some boundaries and discussing important safety and privacy issues. Just because your child has a cell phone doesn’t mean he or she should talk or text with anyone who calls. Take advantage of parental controls that allow a parent to block some numbers and approve others. Start younger children with a short approved list to reduce their exposure to bullies, scammers, and spammers.

Parental controls also allow you to decide when your child is able to call or text. If your child’s school has a no-cell phone policy, help them enforce it by making the phone inactive during school hours. Make sure the phone can still be used to call 911 even when these controls are activated. In some cases, the only way to be sure a child gets a full night’s sleep is to turn the phone off at bedtime.

Most phones now include GPS technology that allows parents to “track” their kids and also to create dead zones where the phone can’t be used, but many experts feel this level of surveillance is counter-productive unless a child repeatedly breaks your rules. Parents should perhaps be more concerned about new apps, like Foursquare, that allow kids to broadcast their whereabouts to friends and potentially to predators. Consider making these apps off limits for younger teens.

Because cell phones quickly become an extension of the child, parents need to establish specific rules about where the phone can be used. These rules will vary from family to family with one exception: Teens should NEVER use a cell phone while driving. Since one in four teens admits to texting while driving—the actual number is probably higher—you may want to consider subscription-based software that disables the phone when a car is moving.  Check out Zoom Safer (zoomsafer.com) and Drive Assist (aegismobility.com).

Depending upon the phone, kids can download everything from ring tones and games to music and TV shows.  Discuss what’s acceptable and who will pay.  For younger children, install content filters (Verizon has an especially good system).  If you have any doubts about your child’s willingness to follow the rules, take advantage of controls that block downloads.

Be sure your kids understand the parameters of the plan you’ve purchased.  How many text messages can they send?   Are they charged for everything they receive as well?  Show kids how to check on their usage so they don’t exceed the limits.  Most parents will find the tools they need to keep track of cell phone use through their carrier. If your child needs extra protection, or you don’t want to pay a monthly fee, consider free-standing software.  Several programs are available. MyKidisSafe (mykidissafe.com) offers a comprehensive toolkit; Smobile software (smobilesystems.com) includes virus protection as well as parental controls.

Before activating any options, talk to your child about what you’re doing and why. Kids will probably object to cell phone supervision just as they’ve always objected to curfews and bedtimes.  However, if you use these tools well, your kids are less likely to engage in mischief and will appreciate that you are trying to  support them in making responsible decisions about when, where, and how to safely use their cell phones.