It’s a rule nearly every parent breaks. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that children under the age of two have NO exposure to screens. That guideline was hard enough to follow when it just applied to background TV and baby videos. Now, of course, grabby little toddlers are often reaching directly for mom or dad’s electronics; in fact, many parents are quick to hand over their smartphone or tablet in an effort to occupy their tech-savvy youngster.

Some experts argue that these screens are different because they are interactive. When a child pokes the screen, something exciting can happen. There’s no question that this kind of cause and effect is mesmerizing, but is it good for little brains? The honest answer is no one knows because there hasn’t been time to do the relevant research. Scientists do know that baby brains grow dramatically. At birth, each baby brain cell has about 2,500 synapses or connections to other brain cells. Around age three, the typical brain cell has 15,000 connections because of the baby’s astonishing ability to learn.  The AAP argues that there’s no reason to take chances with that development. Even if there’s no evidence that screen time is bad for baby brains, there’s also no evidence that it does anything to promote healthy growth.

In some ways, this mirrors the conversation about sugary foods. Parents know candy and cookies aren’t necessary for growth. And, in large quantities, they displace other essential nutrients.   Yet, sooner or later, most parents introduce kids to the pleasures of lollipops and birthday cake.  Depending on how it’s done, the child may accept these foods as occasional treats or he may whine for candy at every checkout aisle. Until there is evidence that screen time is good for babies and toddlers, access to technology should perhaps be limited and thoughtfully supervised by parents. Since you can’t see what’s happening in your baby’s brain, you’ll need other indicators to be sure development is on track. Here are a few questions to consider:

Is your child excited to play with you?

Experts agree that a deep connection with parents is crucial during the first two years of life. Early interactions in which children learn to make and break eye contact or take turns making sounds become the foundation for emotional intelligence. Having face to face fun with your baby sets up a lifelong assumption that interacting with people is rewarding.

Do people talk to your child ─ a lot?

Research done in the 1990’s demonstrated that babies who hear around 2,000 words per hour do better in school and even have higher IQ’s. That’s because the language centers of the brain are especially absorbent during the first three years. Recorded words don’t make much of an impression. Language needs to be tailored to the child, and responsive to both what he is doing and his emotions. Parents, of course, aren’t the only ones who should be talking to babies.  Be sure other caregivers are aware of how important it is to use language with children despite their young age.

Does your child enjoy three-dimensional play?

Babies and toddlers figure out the world by picking things up, chewing on them, poking, throwing, rolling, and stacking. Not only is this fun, but it gives your child the basis for concepts like round and flat, fuzzy and smooth. A touch screen may reference these ideas but it takes lots of real-life experience to get them fixed firmly in the brain.  Healthy babies are always reaching, exploring, and stimulating multiple senses.

Can your child detach from the screen?

Some parents report that little ones become fixated on smartphones and tablets ─ whining for them when they could be doing other things or melting down when parents take them away. According to Michael Rich, director of Boston’s Center on Media and Child Health, this occurs because the visual stimuli of many apps  gives children a regular squirt of dopamine, a brain chemical that creates sensations of pleasure. Too much of this can create cravings that babies (and sometimes older people) can’t resist.

Is your child able to settle down for quiet time & sleeping?

Because baby brains are growing so rapidly, they can easily become overstimulated. Being able to settle and sleep peacefully is a lifelong skill, and most parents intuitively help children calm down by gentle rocking, singing, or stroking. Research indicates that the light emitted by screens stimulates brain waves in ways that interfere with sleep, so screen time should never be part of (or close to) a baby’s bedtime routine.

Can you focus on your child?

No matter what you say, young children will mimic what you do.  If you are tethered to your devices ─ checking e-mail during diaper changes, texting during playtime, talking on the cell during walks ─ your behavior will imprint on your child. More importantly, your distraction will keep you from playing what Uri Bronfenbrenner, co-founder of Head Start, called “ping pong” with your child: Your baby giggles and you repeat whatever you did to make her laugh. Your toddler says something that sounds like Mama and you respond with delight. As Bronfenbrenner famously put it, healthy development occurs “through the process of progressively more complex exchanges between a child and somebody else, especially somebody who’s crazy about that child.”

If you can answer “yes” to these questions, you can be confident that your baby’s brain is getting what it needs. Under those circumstances, handing over the smartphone to secure a moment of quiet isn’t any more harmful than offering a cookie for the same reason. Neither is likely to undermine healthy development for your baby, unless you turn it into a habit.