Mortified MOMents
Mortified MOMents
Kids can say (and do) the darndest things! And, of course, such acts of embarrassing behavior always seem to happen in public places. While in the situation, it can seem like your mortified MOMent is the worst example of public humiliation ever, but take comfort in knowing that mortified moments happen to all parents. Share your hilarious stories for a chance to be in Orlando Family Magazine by emailing editorial@orlandofamilymagazine.com.
In her birthday suit!
“Leading up to her 2nd birthday, my daughter Olivia and I went to the library’s mother goose story time on a weekly basis. The day of her birthday was a warm October day, so I dressed her in a loose shirt that tied in the back and shorts. The story time instructor picked her up to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ and, when she set her back down, Olivia started spinning in circles while loudly singing, “Oh yeah! It’s my birthday, oh yeah! It’s my birthday.” While still spinning in the center of the story time circle (20 other parents and children), she then grabbed her shirt and completely whipped it off with one hand, and swung it over her head…picture how a fan twirls around a towel at a football game! She never missed a beat shouting, “Oh yeah, it’s my birthday,” as she literally slipped into her birthday suit.”
A BIG Surprise
“I was on a road trip with my oldest daughter Nora, then 3, and we stopped along the route for a bathroom break. As we were leaving the stall, a rather heavyset lady entered the restroom. She squeezed by us into another stall and shut the door. Nora turned to me and exclaimed ─ in the wonderment and honesty that only a 3-year-old can ─ “Whoa! That’s a BIG lady!” Surprised at her restraint to wait for the lady to close the door, but nevertheless embarrassed, I shushed her. Undeterred by my anxious plea, she continued, “But she’s biiiiiiiiggg!” By then, I was red-faced and trying not to burst of embarrassment, so I apologized through the door. The lady, of course, said that it was OK. I went on to explain to Nora how everyone is different ─ size, shape, color, etc. ─ while we hurriedly washed our hands in an attempt to turn this mortified moment into a learning opportunity. But Nora continued on, true to a 3-year-old’s form, “Yeah! And she’s one of the big ones!” Oh man…get to the car! Thankfully, years later, my daughter is sensitive to the differences among individuals, so perhaps that day had an impact on her. But, I still die a little inside though for that lady in the bathroom.”
A Clean Sweep
“I took my son Caden to the library for story time when he was 2 years old. He was bored out of his mind with the book being read, so he took it upon himself to lick the floor. Everyone noticed him ‘cleaning the floor’ with his tongue and I was mortified (and confused)! I quickly grabbed him, ran out of the library, and never looked back.”
Bathroom Biology 101
“While using a public bathroom stall, my 4-year-old son Wyatt decided to pick an interesting fight with me. As I used the facility, he asked, “Mommy, where is your penis?” I answered, “Son, I don’t have a penis.” Raising his voice, “Yes you do! Mommy, where is your penis?” Again I replied, “Wyatt, I don’t have one.” He screamed with frustration, “Yes you do, yes you do. I KNOW you have a penis.” The restroom erupted in laughter from the women occupying the neighboring stalls. When I opened the door to head to the sink, I felt like everyone was staring at me and silently pondering if Wyatt did, in fact, KNOW something!”
─ Allisson Yu
Military Mama Drama
“Shortly after returning to the Navy from maternity leave (and while still breastfeeding), I was required to participate in a physically demanding training session. Crawling on the ground and holding gear close to my chest was torture! I announced that I had to briefly excuse myself and asked for privacy to use our onsite van. I rushed to manually pump and return to the drill. But, apparently, some of my male counterparts didn’t quite understand my request and, moments later, the door swung open and we all screamed. Who knew breast milk would be the factor to startle Naval personnel?”
─ Janel Rossetto
