The shock of losing a loved one can be devastating. Even worse, imagine that you are in elementary or middle school and learn that mommy or daddy has died. Typically, a child’s surviving parent becomes the primary source of comfort while coping with the death of a loved one. Understandably however, the surviving parent is often consumed by personal grief of his or her own. Fortunately, there is additional support for Central Florida families as they seek hope, healing, and eventually happiness.

New Hope for Kids, a Maitland-based grief support program founded in 1996, offers a compassionate environment where children, ages 3 to 18 years, grieving the death of a family member can share their experience with others facing similar feelings of loss. Each year, nearly 400 local families benefit from this therapeutic process in age-specific peer groups thanks to charitable donations from individuals, foundations, and community organizations. The majority of participants have lost a parent, sibling, or loved one to illness or accident, yet twenty percent gather as a ‘special circumstances’ group comprised of those grieving as a result of traumatic situations, such as murder or suicide.

“Grief is a lifelong journey,” explains Grief Program Director Tamari Mailler, who remembers her own childhood grief (the loss of her mother). “When you are with people who understand, you can walk through it in a healthier manner.”

Twyla Torrence had a pleasant, co-parenting relationship with Shawn, her close friend and father of her two daughters, Kiara and Nadia, now 11 and 10 years old. Two years ago, when her girls were beginning to readjust to living in Florida after residing in Arizona with their dad, Twyla had to break the shocking news that their father had been murdered. Soon after, Twyla began to notice behavioral changes in her daughters. “They were fighting more with each other and secluding themselves from others,” Twyla explains. She decided to search the Internet for grief programs and found New Hope for Kids.

The free program aims to engage grieving children for at least one year, yet Kiara and Nadia continue to benefit from group sessions every other week, and still take advantage of the ‘hurricane room’, a fully-padded room equipped with a punching bag. “I can let my frustrations out if I need to,” says Nadia, who feels most comfortable with her ‘friends’ at New Hope because the kids at school cannot comprehend her family’s situation. “They all have dads and no one believes what I’ve been through.” Now focused on their healing process, both Nadia and Kiara hope to eventually become volunteer facilitators, a common transition for children who benefit from the program.

“We always talk about our great memories of their daddy and do some things that we know he would have loved,” says Twyla, who recently enrolled in nursing school to provide a better future for her girls. Twyla, like many other New Hope parents, seeks additional support for her children through resources such as school counselors or in-home therapists. Two years into her own grief process and putting her children’s needs before her own, she continues to participate in parent sessions, listening to others and now offering heartfelt advice for newcomers.

A parent who welcomed insight from Twyla is Iris Keck, a mother who lost her husband to suicide just a few months ago. “My husband was struggling with depression but I didn’t think he would kill himself,” Iris states. Right away, her 16-year-old son, Lucas, didn’t want to eat, became withdrawn, andlost concentration at school. “I knew he needed more help than I did, and New Hope gave us a place to talk without feeling judged. There is no pressure – you can talk or simply listen.”

The policy of ‘participate at your own comfort level’ is a plus for shy Lucas. “I haven’t really told any of my friends at school. It’s hard to talk about it since they don’t understand,” he says. Because his emotions are still raw, for now he prefers the temporary distraction of air-hockey or foosball in the game room, but admits that digging into his feelings through group activities is a beneficial coping mechanism. “Today we made a collage by choosing things that make us feel safe.”

Want to impact the restorative work of New Hope for Kids? Learn how by visiting www.NewHopeForKids.org.