According to the 2000 Census, the average U.S. family size is 3.14 people. Decimal point aside…that means parents typically have one to two kids. So when Donna Field, an Orlando adoptive mother of five daughters (including a special needs child) arrives at a restaurant seeking a table for seven with a high chair, she is often greeted with shocked stares…and a lengthy wait for seating! But this unassuming mom says they’re ‘just a normal family’ and that she plays the role of any busy mom, including referee, caregiver, and counselor.

A Family Tree with Roots of Love

Ten years into their marriage, high school sweethearts Donna and Jeff, decided they were ready for a family. The “a-ha moment” surprisingly came while watching a television program fifteen years ago. “The program showcased the effects of the ‘one child policy’ in China, with boys being the preferred sex,” says Donna, now 49. “I just knew at that moment that my daughters were in that Chinese orphanage.”  Twenty-two months later, the Fields became first-time parents to 9-month-old Madison, now 15 and the eldest of five sisters.

“We immediately initiated the adoption of our second child, believing it would take a year. But we welcomed Remington (now 14) less than six months later. It was like we instantly had twin girls,” declares Jeff, a scientist. Over the years, the family grew to include Callahan, 12, Buchanan, 7, and Elliot, 4.

Raising a family is like holding a never-ending job. Despite being a night owl, Donna’s alarm clock typically wakes her at 5:45 a.m. After hitting ‘brew’ on the coffee pot, she prepares four school lunches, ensures that tummies are full with breakfast, and checks that homework is in backpacks. Everyone jumps into the family SUV at 7:05 a.m. and heads to Lake Highland Preparatory School, while Jeff begins work in his home office. With the kids in school, Donna works a full day of domestic duties. “I dream of the day that I have two washers and dryers – seriously!” she says with longing.

Mom’s Cheering Squad

When colleagues ask Jeff if his wife ‘just stays home’ he reminds them that she manages five very active people. “It’s like supervising a full team – it’s hard work.”

How does she manage? Here’s a few of Donna’s tips that help her make it through the day:

• DON’T sweat the small stuff, especially when it affects time management. Donna opts for paper plates and cups to cut back on kitchen clean-up. And she doesn’t beat herself up when something is not perfect, “I may not always get a bow in everyone’s hair and that’s OK,” she says.
• DO have structure. Donna says house rules, including limiting television, help prevent chaos thereby reducing fights over shows and bedtimes. Facebook is a no-no.
• DO ask for help! Donna says a housekeeper tidies up her home weekly, but her best helpers are her children. “Thankfully, Madison and Remington offer support with their younger sisters,” Donna notes. The extra help comes in handy during trips to the grocery store, often several times a week. “We aIl get excited for buy-one get-one finds!”

Madison will soon get her driver’s license which will aid with transportation to dance, theatre and sports. Donna admits that these extracurricular activities have recently been scaled back with much of her time devoted to caring for Elliot who was born with severe congenital heart disease, but nonetheless has defied survival odds.

“Elliot was gravely ill when we met her in China and had surgery immediately upon our return to the States. She coded. We almost lost her,” Donna recalls with tears in her eyes. After seven days on Life Support and months of recuperation, Elliot was finally well enough to play with her sisters. While specialists continue to research her complex case as part of a national genetic study, Elliot has at least two surgeries ahead to repair her rare cardiac defects.

Her special needs have had an impact on every member of the family. Callahan says, “My mom is great. She takes care of us.” Madison adds, “She is always there for me and provides the best guidance.”

Donna can usually manage her large family with ease but admits it’s more difficult when Jeff travels for business – or during the holiday season. “Christmas is rough,” she confesses, having had to cope with the stress of shopping and wrapping gifts for all five children on occasion.

A Joint Journey in Motherhood

“I’ve explained to my girls that their birth mothers loved them and made a choice to allow them to be adopted,” Donna states. “I tell them I consider it a privilege to be on a joint journey with their Chinese parents. I just wish I could tell their birth moms that their children are happy and loved.” Because Buchanan was the only sibling not adopted as a baby, Donna says she had more ‘adoption-related questions’ than her siblings. “After leaving the orphanage, it took her a bit to understand that we would be her permanent family.”

Jeff points out that their daughters truly are ‘theirs,’ regardless of genetics. “It’s funny to see Donna’s personality and mannerisms in all of them. They share the same facial and body expressions.”

Over the years, they’ve inspired friends to adopt as well. Still with plenty of love to share, Donna and Jeff are currently moving forward with the adoption of their sixth, another special needs child. Although likely to be a girl, the family is split on what they want. “I want a brother to play basketball with,” votes Remington. “I like sisters. You’re never alone when you have sisters,” states Madison.

With another family member expected, the Fields are relocating to a larger home – which WILL have two washers and dryers for Donna! This remarkable mom says that when she is no longer able to adopt (admitting that double digits would be tricky), she’ll continue her ‘calling’ by volunteering at the Chinese orphanage that provided her with a wonderful family.

Steps for China-U.S. Adoption

• Work with U.S. adoption agency on required documentation and immigration rules.
• After Chinese Center for Adoption Affairs acceptance (may take 1-2 years), adoptive family travels to China to complete adoption through Chinese government and US Consulate.
• U.S. agency oversees Home Study, birth certificate, and Social Security card.