Considering the innumerable parenting books I’ve read and parenting workshops I’ve attended, I should be a perfect parent. But I’m not, of course; and nobody is. I’ve been a parent long enough, however, to realize that if I keep pressing forward and do the best job I can with a loving and sincere heart, my kids won’t be eternally scarred by my imperfections.

This year, instead of making resolutions about being a better parent, I decided to ponder a few New Year’s resolutions on how to move past my imperfections and keep going on the days that I want to quit as a not-so-perfect parent. Come on… you have those days too! So, this year I commit to the following resolutions and encourage you to do the same.

1. Let go of the mommy (or daddy) guilt. We all experience it from time to time. We do too much for our kids one day and too little the next. One day we give them too much slack and the next day we nag them incessantly. Our parenting choices never seem right (in our own judgmental minds). Or maybe our thinking and self-standards aren’t right. Mommy guilt comes from the expectation that we need to be perfect. But can perfection really be associated with parenting, or applied to any person (parent or child)? I resolve to choose, when appropriate, to let go of unrealistic expectations that keep me bound to guilt when I don’t measure up.

2. Forgive myself when I fail. A defeated parent doesn’t parent effectively. When we barrage ourselves with negative self-talk over a poor parenting choice, we continue down a negative path. Forgiving ourselves for less-than-stellar parenting moments allows us to begin again with a renewed mind and fresh perspective in our parenting challenges. After all, don’t you forgive your child when he/she has a mishap? I resolve to give myself the same (occasional) leeway for error.

3. Seek out support from other moms on hard days. My neighbor is a single parent with two school-aged children. She recognizes the need for help in juggling her responsibilities and seeks out other moms to assist with car pool or after-school care when the demands of her work schedule become overwhelming or overlap. Fellow moms understand the struggles of busy parents and are usually happy to help when asked.

4. Listen to my heart on how to parent my child, instead of others’ opinions. Sure, it’s easy to run to the phone and ask a friend what to do when we’re facing a difficult parenting moment, but if we step back and listen to our own heart while considering options, we make better decisions. Considering our child’s personality (which we know better than anyone) as part of the parenting equation allows us to tailor our parenting in a healthier light. Translation: Trust myself… I’m a good parent!

5. Take time to run, or quilt, or whatever activity works for me to re-group when the parenting strain takes over. It’s important to re-group and make time for self-care when we’re about to go off the parenting cliff. Balancing parenting demands with activities we can look forward to and enjoy alone or with others creates a well-rounded parent who can more effectively handle the strains of parenthood. Yes, I’m a parent, but I’m still an individual.

6. Remember that my kids love me, even on days I’m a not-so-perfect parent. Our kids don’t expect us to be perfect (all the time). If they know we are doing our best to care for them ─ emotionally and physically ─ they’ll continue to love us on our good days and less than stellar days. I heard the reply of a young child recently when asked what he thought about his mom’s significant weight loss. “I don’t see her any different. I love her either way ’cause she’s my mom.”

As you start the New Year, do you have other resolutions to consider as a not-so-perfect parent? Do you need a mindset do-over that includes room for imperfection and second chances as a parent? Perhaps that’s the ticket to success this year on your not-so-perfect parenting journey.