Choosing a baby name can cause debate and garner unsolicited input. If you are an expectant parent, you may be wondering: How much should popular trends or the opinions of others influence my decision? And, how should I manage negative feedback for the name that I’ve chosen?

Laura Wattenberg, author of The Baby Name Wizard, says parents should consider their objectives when selecting a name. You might choose a name to honor a loved one or simply because it sings to your heart, regardless of current trends. “On the other hand, if you see a name as a child’s calling card that will represent her to the broader world, you have to be willing to step outside of your personal taste and try to see it from other perspectives,” she says. How will the name you bequeath impact your child down the road? “It wouldn’t be fair to your child to choose a name that all of his future friends and family absolutely loathe,” Wattenberg says.

Although you rely on your friends and family for their honesty, advice, and perspective, you get to make the final decision and you may not be able to please everyone. Here are seven tips:

Keep Your Cool

If you hear negative feedback, stay calm and avoid getting defensive. “Explain the history, the meaning to you, the love you have for a certain name,” says Sharon O’Neill, a marriage and family psychotherapist and author of A Short Guide to a Happy Marriage. “Then, nicely explain that you understand that others may not see it as you do, but that you would ask that everyone be supportive.”

Consider Concessions

Sue LeBreton says she made the mistake of sharing the girl’s name that she and her husband were considering with her mother-in-law. “I loved the name Charlotte,” she said. But her mother-in-law clearly did not. The couple willingly chose a different name from their list, naming their daughter Abigail instead. “What amuses me is that today Charlotte is one of my daughter’s favorite names for dolls!” LeBreton says.

Discuss Conflicting Cultural Beliefs

Clashing cultural traditions can fuel conflict when it comes to naming a baby. Madonna Chien says that her husband wanted to name their son after his father. “My mother disapproved because, per Chinese tradition, it’s considered insulting to name your child after a family member. However, we explained to my mother that my Chinese father-in-law understood the intent and was okay with it,” she says.

Suggest Nicknames

Consider appeasing a disappointed family member by offering an olive branch in the form of a nickname. “Grandparents or an aunt or other family members may have a nickname that they use in their special relationship with your child,” O’Neill says.

Give It Time

Stacy Weiland also met resistance from her mother when she decided on her son’s name, which is Andrew. “My mother wanted me to name him after my grandmother and grandfather. But I didn’t like them very much so I didn’t want to name my child after them. My mother wouldn’t refer to my son by his name for about a month,” Weiland says. She gave her mother time to come around and advises other parents to do the same. “This is your child. You are going through a lot of big changes and sleepless nights. No one has a right to demand a particular name and give you more stress,” she says.

Politely Ignore

What do you do about strangers (or even loved ones) who disparage your child’s name? Lisa Cash Hanson and her husband chose the name Matilda for their daughter because they felt it was unique. “It was something in my heart that said she would be named Matilda and it stuck,” says Hanson, who is an author, business coach, and founder of MompreneurMogul.com.  She was surprised when her daughter’s name didn’t ring well with others. Friends, family, and even strangers made faces and said, “that’s too old fashioned” or “she is going to get picked on in school” and worse, “that name is ugly.” Wattenberg says, “We’re seeing an epidemic of bad baby-name manners. As names become more diverse and creative, there’s simply less agreement on what makes a good name. If someone is flat-out rude, chilly politeness and a change of subject is the best move.”

Hello…My Name Is____

Many parents say the best strategy they’ve found to manage feedback is to say nothing at all, or plead indecision and announce the baby’s name after the birth. At that point, the focus will be on your adorable baby, and the name may seem less up for debate.

Christa Melnyk Hines is the mom of two boys, with perfectly suited names. She is the author of Confidently Connected: A Mom’s Guide to a Satisfying Social Life.