Serious newsie is a twitter with hilarious family moMENts

As host of Orlando’s Morning News on 96.5 FM, Joe Kelley knows how to report serious headlines. But, when it comes to his wife and children, Joe prefers to chronicle the hilarity of family life with an “instant diary” ─ aka Twitter! Here are some of his recent tweets:

• GOOD GRAVY! — I just flipped the calendar and realized that THIS Sunday is Mother’s Day. WHICH ONE OF YOU WAS IN CHARGE OF TELLING ME?
• CONFESSION: I’m struggling to focus on work this morning, as I’m too worried about how I’m going to mess up Mother’s Day this year!
• So focused on my wife’s Mother’s Day, I totally forgot that I actually have a mother for whom I’m supposed to do something!
• “Helllloooo?” Just woke up from nap & there’s no one here ─ no kids, no wife, no mother-in-law. Alone. You know what that means? ICE CREAM!
• Hudson (9): Daddy, what are intimates? Me: What? Hudson: What are intimates? Me: No, I heard you. I’m stalling. Ask your mom.
• “Brooks! Please stop goosing everyone! Who taught you that, anyway? What? I did? Huh. Don’t tell mom it was me, ok?”
• Hudson (9) asks “Where does garbage go?” Outside in the cans, I told him. “No,” he said, “after that?” Go ask your mom…
• Just learned I’m home alone w/ all 3 kids 2nite while wife & her mom go shopping. She claims she told me, but this is the 1st I’ve heard…
• Grocery store display reads “Perfect for the slow cooker.” Sierra says, “That would be perfect for Mommy.” Yes. Wait. What?
• “Hudson,” I said, “I know you mean it nicely, but perhaps you should stop pointing out how pretty the silver streaks are in Mommy’s hair.”
• Wife sent me to Target for a toilet plunger. I brought home a 60″ Vizio LED HDTV. I screwed this one up. At least I remembered the plunger.
• Me: “Honey, what’s that weird smell in the house?” Wife: “That’s what clean smells like…” Me: “Huh…”
• I marvel at the tireless energy and effort from my wife to the betterment of this family and our children… while I write about it.

Joe Kelley hosts Orlando’s Morning News weekdays from 5-9 am. Follow him on Twitter.com/talkradiojoe.