I let my daughter watch television shows and movies that many parents would firmly consider to be inappropriate for a 12-year-old girl.

For instance, my daughter’s favorite show (for the meantime) is “The Secret Life of the American Teenager.” Starring rising star Shailene Woodley,  Season 1 premiered in 2008 on ABC Family, though my tween later discovered it on Netflix.

Teen pregnancy, scandalous rumors, love triangles, and plenty of drama… Do I think this show is suitable for tween viewers?  No, not at all! So why am I letting her watch it, along with other programs with adult content? Well, it creates much needed dialogue, especially surrounding real-life, difficult subjects. Sure, I wish that mature topics that are addressed on today’s television programs weren’t actually occurring in middle schools, but they are. For example, my daughter was exposed to drugs on the school playground when she was just in 5^th grade! As a result, I’ve decided that ignoring tough matters doesn’t do kids any good. TV and movie themes have led to conversations with my tween about:

• Sex Birth control
• Pregnancy Abortion
• Cheating STDs
• Bullying Respect
• Divorce Disabilities
• Death Miscarriage
• Drug use Foster care
• Therapy Homosexuality
• Eating disorders Cutting
• And so much more.

Frankly, many of these topics don’t always lend themselves easily to every day conversation, and I questioned how I might proactively offer guidance to my daughter. Thankfully, make-believe entertainment programs gave me a vehicle to drive home important messages that my daughter needed to understand.

However, while I don’t have a problem with the subject matter, I do have a concern over how such content is presented. Pregnant teenagers, for example, aren’t typically given a condo to live in by their parents, like Ben and Adrienne were on “Secret Life.” When chatting with my daughter about the show, we talked about how some situations were unrealistically portrayed. Other story lines, like reasons as to why a gymnast might develop an eating disorder, or the benefits of talking about one’s troubles with a therapist, may be more factual. Most of all, regardless of the issue at hand, I always emphasize that most problems can’t actually be wrapped up in an hour or two.

Is your child ready for more mature viewing? That’s a personal decision that only you can make. Perhaps start by watching the movie or TV show on your own. Then view it with your child and observe how he or she reacts. Pause it to ask open ended questions like, “What do you think about that?” or “What do you think she should do?” Be ready to tackle tough questions and share your own experiences if applicable. My daughter and I have spent hours bonding over trashy teen TV shows and, surprisingly, our relationship has grown. She now feels comfortable asking me questions about sex, relationships, drugs, and anything else – even when the TV is off.